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The Law Of Hierarchy

The order of hierarchy prescribes family member ranking according to the time of their arrival and describes a natural flow of love from grandparent to parent to children, the first child comes before the second, etc., and the first spouse comes before the second and, in a business, CEO to the general staffs.

What comes first comes first, what comes later is later; and what is bigger it is bigger, what is smaller it is smaller. The chronological order has absolute priority. It is not a law that is created by man to set as a part of moral beliefs. It is existential; it comes simply naturally with being born into a family system. It includes family of origin, family of current, family of works, family of societies and etc.

This procedure of the position is deeply ingrained in our collective unconscious, something we instinctively feel in a wide range of ordinary on daily situation. For example, you who have been there for years and a new comer who is promoted above you, you will think that it is “unfair!”

Unconsciously, we are ruled by a sense of hierarchy based on time of arrival and this brings out when someone is behaving in a way unsuited to his position, some family member is ‘not in his right place’. The form of express thinking says, “it was not his position to do that. It was not his place to say such a thing. He is out of order.”

For example, entanglements of imbalance in hierarchy, a child becoming the parent of the mother or father; a child being recruited as a spouse, emotionally or even sexually; a second spouse not honoring the first one, etc.

Case Study

There is a girl who is always irritated with having not enough and wants to make extra effect to be perfect in the family. Her mother has two stillborn children before her. She always have a feeling of guilt not ought to have something better.

The early death of a sibling, whether are stillborn, infant, child or teenager; the surviving siblings are often taken over the death’s burden. They often draw towards death (it can be soul death, living in a death live) and sense of guilt for having lived (even child dies before they were born). The living children have no sense of their place in the world or where they belong.

When a child dies young, the living children perceive themselves as one of the three children and actually it is five. In the order of love, we experience the natural of hierarchy flow, the importance of flowing free of love. It means, if a child considered the firstborn but the real was siblings have died young before she was born, the first born was excluded (first order, the order of belonging). This, not only entangle with the fate of dead and also misplace with the hierarchy of the family.

During the session, the two stillborn children were placed in a constellation in the right order. The client was relieved and she was no longer the eldest and no longer bear the death’s burden, no need to make up for the missing siblings. She feels good to be the third child. The acknowledged makes her live is her own life now.

Feeling same as the girl? Make a step to overcome it! Click here to reach us.


Read more about the Family System:

Abortion Healing with Family Constellation.

The Law of Belonging.

Second basic principle of life, the order of precedence.

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