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Abortion Healing with Family Constellation

What is abortion?  

Abortion is the deliberate termination of a human pregnancy.  

Why does it happen?

Is when a couple or one of the partners don't want to take responsibility for what they did.  

Who does it?

Someone not ready to take up this responsibility to become a parent yet.  

How is the whole process?

Surgical Abortion. Vacuum aspiration (the suction method) is the most common type of abortion. It is a surgical procedure that involves anaesthesia (mild sedation).

 So how do we vacuum? I guess you gals should know. Something killed. From the morality of human beings automatically create guilt for itself and guess what? Creating the effect of self-punishment. 

It's not the abortion create the effect but is how the adults deal with it even in the event of a crime or early death.  

(Picture credit to healing steps)

The adults will unconsciously deal with it or run away from it. This means not fully acknowledging and not responsible for the event of separation and creating something left incomplete. For this, we have many ways to deal with it and one of those is Family Constellation. 

In the Family Constellation session, we can see the representatives of the unborn child usually agree with their fate and not much concern about having a chance to come to this world BUT the acknowledgement as a child of this parent.  

During the Family Constellation session, we can see 4 symptoms. 

1. The mother shows out whether or not to take the responsibility for what has accrued. (Example of blame and pushing away the responsibility to others). 

2. Remain frozen.

(Example; not moving or working in life). 

3.  Try to find excuses.

(If a person is trying to explain the reasons why she did it, it means she is refusing to acknowledge her part in the affair).  

4. Behave like a child.

(Want to depend on others, even on her children and on her real-life too). 

At that moment she doesn’t want or not ready to take the responsibility and nor ready to feel the pain of loss. 

Abortion is a significant event in the family system and we need to acknowledge whatever it is. When a client feels love for the unborn child, it means she is healed. But if the client still explains the reason why she did the abortion after the Family Constellation then the client is not fully healed.  

In the healing session, it’s important to honour all the sex partner, whoever may have been and all the children we have conceived, including early age, adoption, unborn child, those aborted and stillborn.  

We can use Healing sentences like:

 “I am your mother, you are my child”. 

“I see you now”.  

“Now, I give you a big place in my heart.”  

This gives the mother a release that she hadn’t been before. This may work for farther too.  

After acknowledging the child, both partners may acknowledge each other's responsibility. Then, they need to let go of the child, especially the mother. It is to allow everyone to stay in peace. 

Having an abortion at the biological level, meaning he or she is saying ‘NO” to the fulfil the intimacy of the sexual relationship and in another way is saying "NO" to partner with her current partner or the future partner. This is why when an abortion accord, the relationship is ended even they try to stay together. Abortion is always a discontinuation of relationship. If the partner comes back to stay together is when the previous inner’s matter had been successfully solved between them. 

The Family Constellation regarding the pregnancy, we have the consequence for each kind of decision. For example, if a mother chooses to abort the baby it will create suffering that disturbs the family system and create a burden for the new arrivals. If giving birth and giving away the baby it may also create mystery and suffering for the unfortunate child. 

“The part here is not that one cause of the action is better than another, but that each action has it examined for it’s a consequence."

Struggling with relationship or intimacy issue?

Or want to know more about Family Constellation?

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Read more about Family Constellation

Wei see - The Law of belonging

Yishai Gaster - Whispers of those who were conceived but not born

Hellinger Schule - Two things children should get from their parents: roots and wings.

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